My experience with alcoholism and addiction has taught me some valuable lessons which I am always willing to share with anyone who might be going through a similar struggle. The purpose behind being open about my past is to give hope to those who are still fighting. I believe that everyone deserves to live a happy and healthy life. That is why whenever someone asks me for my story, I don't hesitate to share it. The primary focus of my journey is about accepting my sexuality and overcoming the lies and discrimination that the LGBTQ+ community face on a regular basis. However, with the help of a person whom God brought into my life, I was able to overcome these challenges and am able to lead a life filled with love and positivity. I’m thankful my husband Cody was able to do that for me.
Sobriety is not always easy though, even 10 years down the line.
During a recent visit to my local Ace Hardware, I picked up some exterior paint for our home. As I waited for the paint to be mixed, I had the opportunity to browse around the store. I was thrilled to see that the store had recently been purchased, and the new owners were making positive changes to the space. It reminded me of my own journey to overcome addiction and alcoholism and work towards a better future. The isles were now clear, the store was properly faced, and everything was better organized. I was impressed with the new owner's vision and commitment to making improvements. Similarly, my life is also on an upward trajectory since I've committed to a clean and sober lifestyle.
After I examined the modifications that had taken place, I returned to the paint section and stumbled upon an old acquaintance and a trusted friend exchanging words by the paint counter. Although I didn't pay much attention to their conversation, I did overhear the acquaintance mentioning something about morals. In a playful manner, I quipped, "Mushrooms, did you say mushrooms?" My friend couldn't help but point out the irony in how I associated the word 'morals' with mushrooms. One of the reasons why mushrooms came to my mind immediately is due to the fact that a friend of mine frequently shares pictures of morels on his Facebook profile and humorously remarks about having an abundance of morals.
During our conversation, I inquired about the well-being of my acquaintance and his work. He shared that he recently started a new business, but it's been causing him stress as he's responsible for his four employees' livelihoods. In fact, he mentioned needing to generate a weekly revenue of $4,000 just to keep the business running. Understanding his concerns, I reassured him that he was making a positive impact and shouldn't worry. I also informed him of my current affiliation with the Better Business Bureau and expressed my interest in aiding him with his predicament by creating a business profile for him. I also proposed discussing the possibility of accreditation, once I return to work. Furthermore, he inquired about my mother's well-being, which is a common topic among acquaintances from my childhood. I let him know that she is doing well before he departed.
My friend Ashley was still there and made sure that I was getting the paint because she and her crew were the ones I hired to paint our home. She got the tools she needed to do the job and told me she would see me shortly, which she did. I grabbed the paint after it was done and thanked Jeff for his help and headed home. On the way out the door, I noticed my acquaintance's work truck parked in front of the hardware store. It was a nice, newer super-duty pickup wrapped with his company logo. I snapped a photo of it thinking I’d help him out by posting a shout-out on Facebook for him. I was truly happy to see his success.
Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were. - Cherie Carter-Scott, "If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules"
Upon reaching home, I found Ashley waiting for me along with her crew. As soon as I stepped out of my car, she swiftly warned me by saying, "You know that guy is not your friend." Upon hearing this, I wasn't surprised as I'd known him pretty much my entire life. Despite this, Ashley felt it was crucial to explain to me why he shouldn't be considered my friend. She shared that he noticed my paint being mixed and commented, "Oh, I know Ryan Adams...He's a raging alcoholic who likes to suck $#@%." Upon learning of Ashley's revelation, I was able to discern the reason behind the man's discussion of morals. It then dawned on me that he was asserting possession of a superior set of morals in comparison to my own. This realization prompted me to laugh.
I am grateful Ashley informed me about the incident. It's always reassuring to have genuine friends who speak up on our behalf. According to Ashley, she told him to shut up as he lacked knowledge about the subject matter. Ashley can be quite assertive when the situation calls for it. Maintaining sobriety is not always a cakewalk, even after a decade of being sober. However, it is comparatively easier now than when one starts the journey toward sobriety. Initially, even small setbacks would trigger the urge to indulge in alcohol or drugs to numb the pain. But with time, as life becomes more fulfilling and satisfying without any artificial boost, the desire to seek solace in such substances fades away. It is essential to note that one's mind and surroundings play a crucial role in ensuring a successful recovery.
As is the case of any negative interaction, staying strong and not letting it affect one's progress is the key to success. I will tell you one thing though, from this experience I can never recommend the old acquaintance's business to anyone even though I still wish them all the success in the world. I will, however, always recommend Ashley and the "That Guy Property Maintenance" crew because they do great work and are just good people.
‘When they go low, we go high’ - Michelle Obama
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